Barbecue with a Side of Rehab

Life (Read: God, The Universe, Reality, You, I) has an interesting way of making the thoughts in our head, appear to make sense in reality. Each day I am gracefully awakened by the awareness of existence, I implore God to reveal an understanding that will encourage me to live more fully. After enduring the better part what was both an enormously pleasant/painful experience (Shout out to Brie for celebrating another birthday-Get your grown & sexy on cuzzo! I see You) (Whisper to Thai/London-Congratulations on getting the Courtney Love Golden Pinnaple Award for HAM of the Year) I was engaed in conversation by my older cousin Marveina on the way to work that evening. Marveina, who is versed in both wordly knowledge & academia (Ex 1time who studied @ Pepperdine), is oft a fount of unconvential wisdom (& mercisless coldness see previous posts) & yesterday's lesson began to unravel as unorthodox as any. "Damn that Smells Good" Marveina gushed as the swinging mesquite of Barbeque fucked the dog shit out of our noses "Hell Yeah, I wish I had some right now". "Why?" She asked, her tone noticeably more collected then when we initially allowed ourselves to drift to Muslim Hell (Pork Ribs Anyone?)"Simply because you smell it? We both just finished eating at Mom's." "Yeah I know, but if I could afford it I would eat it." I replied aquiesing somewhat. "I'm sure you can, but you don't really want it. It would be a waste. You just wanted because you smell it, not because you really want to enjoy BBQ right now." Immediately a lightbulb went on. This conversation reminded me of an excerpt that I had recently read in the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People: "The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person." (Franklin, Covey). I know damn well Marveina hasn't read Franklin Covey (Cliff Notes anyone?) but she was able to ascertain this truth of the successful and relay it to me over a conversation about fucking barbeque. My mind was blown, and the truth was I could afford it. I had just gotten paid, albeit it mostly rent money, but still I could afford to get cigarettes. I realize now I was instictively using "fear of affordability" as a mechanism for cognitive dissonance(1). After parting ways at the bus stop, we bid eachother farewell with jokes and warm wishes. This set the stage for the continuation of an important lesson. While I was on the bus I came into awareness of a beautiful twenty something Senegalese woman. Her movements, graceful, and her smile disarming, I initiated a conversation with her as she sat down next to me. Before long we began to talk about what brought her from East Africa to Los Angeles. She mentioned that she was studying psychology (is it me, or does everyone seemingly study psychology?) and I asked her which school of thought in which she found herself most interested. "School of thought...umm wow...I'd have to think." An amusingly puzzled look swam accross her face until the light of inspiration shone "Rational & Cognative Behavioral Therapy". "Continue" I beckoned. She then began to explain that both of these approaches to psychotherapy (a methodology for turning your shit crazy brain into a preemtive chocolate factory for sexy life affirming thoughts) aim to teach the patient that rational thoughts aligned with rational behaviors produce moods that are condusive to effective life navigation (Happy-ness for you non-harvard grads), while irrational thoughts and behaviors (i.e. I want to loose weight but I just ordered extra carmel on my upside down, whip cream heavy Mocha Choca Lata yaya) produce negative moods since they are not inline with what we have deemed our correct course of action. Always aiming to give as much or more than I received I offered another question "Would you be interested in exploring a depper understanding of Jungian Psychology?" I had arrived at my stop. "That sounds wonderful L'aurence" we exchanged numbers & I got off. While the core of these thoughts are everything but new (see old cliche's such as "Do what you say and say what you do") the idea of integrating these theories as a means of achieving greater control of one's thought process is somewhat facinating. Although I have been engaging in this kind of thought play for at least the last 8 months, it was refreshing (& somewhat validating) to find out that it has been growing since Albert Ellis' system, originated in the early 1950s. This stream of thought lead me to ponder one of the most controversial habits in which I've allowed myself to indulge: smoking cigarettes. A few months ago I made myself a promise that once I obtained my Prop 215 Identification card (Insomnia, you'll never catch me sleeping)I would void myself of the cigarette habit. Since then I have noticed that cigarettes have either suddenly become less attractive to me, or that Marlboro's changed their recipe. Even when I bought them the last time (this morning) I found a strange uneasiness with the first drag. Could this have something to do with the fact that I effectively "cursed" my cigarette use? Is the Universe trying to tell me that I'm long overdue on my promise? Exploring this thought throught the framework of Cognitive Behavior therapy & Covey's suborniation theory helped me to arrive at this conclusion: the value that I have placed on my Prop 215 card is slowly but surely erroding the value I have placed on cigarettes. Further thought explorations: Where can I eliminate actions that are not in line with my values? Where can I introduce actions that will support my values? What impulses most directly disarm my values? How can I learn to recognize when an impulse is in play as opposed to a value? Where the weed at? Notes for Understanding: Thanks Wikipedia! *Therapists or computer-based programs use CBT techniques to help individuals challenge their patterns and beliefs and replace "errors in thinking such as overgeneralizing, magnifying negatives, minimizing positives and catastrophizing" with "more realistic and effective thoughts, thus decreasing emotional distress and self-defeating behavior".CBT helps individuals replace "maladaptive ... coping skills, cognitions, emotions and behaviors with more adaptive ones", by challenging an individual's way of thinking and the way that he/she reacts to certain habits or behaviors. **This particular article featured The Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT, I know right?) adapted from Cognitive Behavioral therapy. *** This article also featured elements of Rational Behavior Therapy (RBT) a form of Cognitive behavioral therapy developed by psychiatrist Dr. Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr. a professor at the Medical College at Howard University. RBT is designed to be a short term therapy which is based on the belief of discovering an unsuspected problem which creates unwanted mental, emotional and physical behaviors.